this is what sucks about the holidays

i am looking for stuff for friends and loved ones for the holidays, and along the way i find stuff i want…  (shakes her fist) argh!  the holidays!  ooo i am getting the urge for hot chocolate…  anyone in?


i was open about something today that is a touchy subject.  i’m not going to push things, but i do hope everything turns out for the best!

what if this was…?

i am going to take as many pictures as i can.  who knows what will happen?  i am going to do my best to not take anything for granted.  i want to love things and people just as much as i did when i first started to love them.  i need to sleep enough!  i need to walk everyday, even it’s just a piddly 30 minutes a day.  i need to keep up my appearance!  i want to feel good about myself and have more confidence that i can do pretty much anything i want to do in life.  i am sick of not paying attention to who i really am and then having issues about it later.  what a waste of time!  i want to be able to look back on this and be just as happy then as i am now. 
i love him 100% and i don’t  have any doubts.  shoot, that’s the whole reason why i am wearing this symbolic collar!  i hope he knows that…  wearing this collar is my sign to me that i have moved forward, that i am no longer going to think about the past!  i believe in second chances, in understanding that we are all humans and can screw up sometimes…  but if our heart is in the right place, then that is all that matters!!!!
my heart is in the right place… and i believe that so are everyone else’s… 🙂

it’s monday

I woke up this morning to purposely rid myself of the creepy dreams i was having.  i guess more like nightmares, but not really that scary, just sad.  i hate those!  i thought that i was rid of them… it has been many months since i had dreams like that where i woke up in a state of anxiety…  Well.  i am claening and reading and going to make another incarnation of my kitty hat, but all i have left now is green fleece…  heh maybe i will get creative and use something other than fleece…




The sun is tapping on the window

It wants to wake us up.

My eyes have barely opened,

And I can just make out the lines of your cheekbone…

And your golden lashes are so still.

I do not wish to wake you,

I cannot help myself…

I pounce

And I find myself staring into your blue…