I am lame…

Yay pretty soon I will be able to order the collars I want.  Woot!


So… yea.  NONE of the specialty back stores that used to be around here exist anymore.  Wow what a waste of gas today was!  Hehe well at least I got my cherry carmex!!!

Pain In The Neck

Besides the obvious ones I have (heh), it is high time I went to one of those specialty back stores.  I am getting tired of waking up with a stiff/hurting neck pretty much every morning.  I have never been to a back store before, so this will be fun! 


Just got back from my yoga class a little bit ago.  I just started going to yoga; this is my 3rd class.  My club has a yoga class every Monday for a scandalously low price.  My friend is really into yoga, and suggested we go together.  It runs for an hour and a half.  So, I am not really into this yoga, but I feel that it is good for me, so I go.  I compare it to eating vegetables.  Heh.
But it really does put you in a more focused and relaxed mood.  I was so-so when I got there, midway through I started thinking about some stuff that upset me, but by the end of the class I was calm.  Not just calm, but I discovered a way to begin to end my vicious cycle of unhappiness.  I was pretty psyched about that. 


Ever stay home all day and it felt wierd that you did that? 

A blog that my friend Adrian wrote…

Get off your fucking phone.

I remember back in the day, the only place you could get a phone call was at home. Then one day, magically, everybody and their mother was walking around with a little black box clipped to their belt that made obnoxious noises when somebody called it. This was the beginning of the pager movement, and it would give rise to some of the most blatant displays of self-important nonsense the world had ever seen (up to that point). Anybody remember this? You’re hangin out somewhere with some heads, and in the middle of the conversation an annoying noise would split the night, prompting the owner of said obnoxious noisemaker to look down to his belt, remark, "Oh, that’s [insert unimportant person here], I gotta call him back," and scurry off to the nearest fixed-to-the-wall telephone to call [unimportant person] and tell him that the season premier of Friends was the fucking bomb.

But naturally it couldn’t stop there, could it? Of course not. If the world wasn’t full of enough bullshit, if we weren’t already self-absorbed enough to not notice a satellite crashing in our backyard, then came the next generation of instantaneous interpersonal communications, the cell phone. The fact that they have gotten smaller and sexier does not interest me in the least. What does interest me is our zombie-focus fascination with these fucking devices. Nowadays, if people leave their house without their cell phone, they will actually call in to work (from another phone, of course) to say they’ll be late because they need to turn around and go get it. It’s like everybody examined the daily habits of your average crackhead and said, "Hey, I wanna act just like that."

I see people every single day gabbing away at their phones during every conceivable activity. Driving, eating, shopping, hiking, welding, showering (I’m dead serious), rolling blunts, fucking (seen the first Paris Hilton video?), and most annoyingly, hanging out with their friends. I am positive that if there was a way for people to talk on their cell phones while giving head, there would be assholes out there doing it. If you could place a fucking phone call while scuba diving, these fucks would sign up for PADI classes in droves just so they could call their friends from 20 feet down.

"John? Yeah, it’s Mike. You’ll never guess where I’m calling you from!"

I know this disturbs a few of you as much as it disturbs me, but given the number of people I see every day doing it and the number of people who hold up my line at work because they couldn’t hang the fucker up before they got in the door, I’m willing to bet I’m more angry about it than most. And when I get angry about something, I tend to think about it alot.

Come with me and see if you can follow me through this to the end. When you are spending time with someone (take your pick here, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, mom, dad, little brother, Charlie Manson, whatever) and you take a phone call, what are you suggesting to that people you’re actually sitting next to in real life right then? Yes, you are, by de facto, telling the people in your immediate proximity that they are not as important as the people on the other end of the fucking phone line. No. No. Don’t try to deny it. Don’t try to rationalize it, don’t try to tell me "Oh, I needed to take the call cuz it was work related." "Oh, that was my mom/sister/boyfriend/little brother/Charlie Manson/The Dalai Lama, and I needed to talk to them. No. No you didn’t. You don’t NEED to pick up your phone when you’re sitting next to somebody who’s willing to spend some of their precious short time on this fucked up planet with your cell phone answering ass.

Yes, I understand that if something catastrophic happens, a cell phone is a handy thing to have. If your mom is suddenly in the hospital, yes, you might want to pick up your phone. Do you know why? Because your mom’s health and life is typically worth more to you than smoking a blunt with a few heads from work. Are you starting to see what I’m talking about here? This is a question of priorities. And by the way, family emergency is one of, if not the only reason you should pick up your phone while you’re with somebody else.

And contrary to popular belief, talking on your phone is NOT something that is multitaskable. You can NOT place a Starbucks order while on your phone. You’re either doing one (talking to John Wayne Gacy), or the other (trying to get a Caramel Frappuccinno). So why the fuck do you walk into my Starbucks on your phone? Why would you walk into ANY place of business that involves personal interaction while in the middle of a call? I’ll tell you why, it’s because you are a DOUCHEBAG. You want everybody in the room to look at you and hear you talk about the latest Missy Elliot record and think to themselves, "Ooooo… That person must be important if they’re talking on their new Razor when they should be figuring out what they want to order. I’m impressed, I think I might just want to have hot freaky sex with that person if only I could pry the fucking cell out of their fucking hands! Shit, now that I think of it, it would be a huge turn-on if that person was on the phone while they were fucking me. Then they must be REALLY important. Oh obsessed cell phone user, you are a shining golden god of sexuality. Let’s spawn."

Okay, maybe that was a bit much, but you see my point. So here’s your assignment for your next day off. I want you to get up in the morning, turn your phone OFF, and put it under your pillow. Don’t look at it or think about it for the rest of the day. I guarantee you that at some point during the day, you will be sitting somewhere, and you will think to yourself, "Wow, this quiet is really nice. Not a single person has bothered me all day. It’s kind of… liberating. Kinda reminds me of what life was like when I was a kid."

Because you do remember that, I’m sure. You remember that phone on the wall or table or whatever with the curly cord that only stretched so far? You remember how it would get tangled with itself if you played with it the wrong way? Did you ever spend any time as a kid trying to get the knots out? Or better yet, to straighten the curly cord? Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t, but one thing I know for sure. Your phone didn’t rule your life then, and it sure as fuck shouldn’t rule it now.


PS- Not that I expect this to be the case, but if any of the obnoxious behavior I have outlined here describes you, take a look around in between calls. You might not see them, but there is somebody in the room who absolutely hates you.


So I cleaned out my red eyed tree frog tank today!  It totally needed to be done.  Welp, I am working tomorrow morning, so off to try to sleep.  Night night.

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