Sorry about the whining…

Wow I am tired.  The past two days have been pretty tiring.  I find it sad that I have barely seen much of Frank since… Friday.  And we live together.  Yea.  Today is Tuesday, right?  That is pretty screwy, and I don’t like that.  Well, I need to be at work by 4:15am tomorrow, so I am not even going to be seeing much of him until Thursday, i guess.  I really hate that.
Ok I am off to sleep.  Because apparently that’s all I have time to do… go to work, come home and sleep, and pretty much not getting a chance to do anything else.  I can’t wait for my days off.  I might actually get a chance to have enough energy to go somewhere!  What is the point of working when you can’t even enjoy the present moment?  It’s a catch-22; you need to work, yet when you aren’t, are you even able to enjoy your time off?  I hope I don’t sound lazy; really, I work hard.  I don’t like the concept of working 5 days a week… I think 4 is better! 
Well, my boss gave me a sheet to write down my availability… I am going to think about it and make sure that I do the hours I want.  Working the entire weekend every weekend is too much. 
I thought that my collar would be posted, but yea I just placed the order last night so… Maybe tomorrow… 
 

!!!

By the way… I am done.  If something bothers me, I am going to fix it.  I am fucking done. 

???

People… 😛

TGIF

Why is it that every time it is going to be a hot day, I wear the damn rubber collar?  I must be some sort of masochist…  I really need to get myself a black pleather collar…  Rubber SUCKS in the heat!  Today has been a pretty chill day so far.  Got some rest, hung out with a couple of people, went somewhere new to eat (Mary’s Pizza Shack is pretty tasty yo!), and for some crazy reason, I bought a couple of Lady Death comics… I used to buy them ALOT, years ago, but I guess I just wanted to buy a couple new ones…  So after this I am going to relax, and then when the sun starts to set I am going to take a walk around town.  It’s so nice to do, especially there are places that I can go via foot!
 
I know that there are certain things PETA does that people I know make fun of… it’s kinda like being a Democrat or a Republican… Some members are just more fervent/fanatical, but you wouldn’t denounce your political beliefs because of a few?  I think that there are certain PETA folks that go too far.  However, I still like what PETA is trying to say.  I am realizing that I really didn’t need to buy that Coach purse I got a couple of months ago… I mean, wtf was I doing? 
This video has some graphic stuff.  I am just warning you. 
 
There was a big flap in the news the other day about how PETA wants Ben and Jerry’s to start using human breast milk in their ice cream.  Well, it was meant to be tongue in cheek.  PETA was just trying to make a point…
 
 

Etsy lala

I find it interesting how my other laptop won’t even turn on at all now.  Hm…  Did pretty good on not being thin-skinned today, until a comment was made, but I recovered as quickly as I could, and it ended well. 
This article is really indepth and very helpful. 
Just woke up after a 3 hour nap.  I have to be at work by 4:15am tomorrow, so I hope that I can fall back to sleep in a reasonable amount of time! 

If I only put as much time and effort into my self as I did choosing a new laptop…

Last night I embarrassed myself with an unprecedented overflow of emotion.  Now I feel odd.  I didn’t expect that to happen.  The day had started out pretty well in my opinion, but for some reason I got into a down mood and it radiated from me and basically poisoned the group.  (I don’t mean to sound lofty, I am just trying to use different words here, because I am tired of using the same old words over and over… So yeah maybe some of my word choices are a bit outre…)  Anyway.  I have a massive headache, and hopefully 2 Tylenols will do the trick.  I digress.  I am very concerned about why I have these bad moods.  I know that it is partially because I ruminate too much over things.  I truly have a habit of doing that.  For example, last night I was really missing some sort of connectivity; something that would provide some sort of grounding… roots, if you will.  I got pretty morose over it, and instead of letting it go and enjoying the time with my friends, I allowed it to grow within my mind and to bring me down further.  I really don’t enjoy feeling that way.  Also, sometimes someone will make a comment about something, and I don’t know how to react to it.  I know that sounds vague, but if anyone that was around last night reads that line, hopefully they will know what I mean!  I felt like I had to explain myself, and I didn’t get a chance to, because I was too embarrassed by my emotional outburst to say anything… But you know what?  The real answer is this: It would be better for me to not have to go back and do damage control.  I should try to get myself in a position where I do not need to explain why I was like this or that…  I know for a fact that I would be so much happier and more fun to be around if I did that.  I am too thin-skinned.  I hate it. 

.

I realized that I still really miss home.  I hate the fact that I have absolutely no family out here near me.  It sucks that I can’t just go to my mom’s like I used to, maybe have some tea, or maybe some dinner, and have her do her mom thing and yell at me or whatever.  Just a place to go that’s not work or not home…

Previous Older Entries