While Looking At Pictures Of Someone’s Baby

 So if I still not sure if I want to have kids, does that matter?  Alot of relationships are made or broken over this.  I am 35.  I mean, my time is VERY limited… like, I have about 5 good years left…  I am not married, I don’t really feel that I make enough to support myself, much less a baby.  And, whenever I think about waddling around pregnant and then going through the pain of childbirth, I get scared.  This is why it sucks to be in this kind of situation. 
I could not think about it and push it to the back of my mind, but that’s what I did for 35 years.  I don’t know.  I can’t force myself to be ready for something I am not.  I just feel like I should be wanting a child and be married and all that stuff.  But I don’t want it.  But, I want it eventually.  I feel like I am thinking like a 25 year old, like I actually have the luxury of time.  Men can have a baby whenever.  Their sperm doesn’t go bad for a long time.  Women however… And that SUCKS.

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