My Day Off

Well I start at the other Starbucks this coming Monday, I guess.  I am glad to move and make a fresh start.  I am just going to be a barista, and that is fine.  I don’t fucking care to have the psuedo-responsibility of being a shift.  I do still love working for Starbucks, but realize that I don’t have enough of what they want in order to become a manager.  I am kinda sad about that, because I was hopeful that I would make it to ASM and make some decent $$$ and all that.  But… I guess not.  Who knows maybe I can start again.  But for right now, no. 
I want to start up a tattoo shop one day; a fucking good one, not some dinky rat hole like the majority of them are.  I don’t know when it will happen, but one day it will. So I am working out what to do on this trip to L.A.  Now that I am most likely going alone, I need to reassess.  I might just take a flight down there, and figure out transportation later.  Like, maybe using the buses and shit.  Or I might take the train.  That would be fun.  

Fucking positivity!

Today has been a real awesome day.  Well, things have been pretty awesome, though today was all awesome.  I got my cracked windshield on the Audi replaced, and Frank, like the responsible guy he is, graciously paid for it.  Yay!  Then I get inspired and run out to Hot Topic and though I feel that Hot Topic fails me frequently, they actually had the very tee that I didn’t know I wanted that I can convert to a hoodie.  I get back home, and discover while checking my e-mail that someone bought one of my necklaces from my Etsy shop.  Yay!  I also see that Penelope had sent me the itinerary of her trip out here next month.  Yay!  Then while I am waiting in line at Chipotle to try the burrito bowl, I get a phonecall from COACH saying that I am getting yet another PCE, which is totally awesome and I am totally going to get something from their boutique!  Yay!
Burrito bowl is fucking delicious, by the way.  I can save alot of calories and carbs by not getting the flour tortilla wrap. 
I got the call yesterday from my future Starbucks manager that I am 100% approved for all the time that I requested off for my L.A. roadtrip and my friend’s wedding.
Frank went out and bought me the Tiffany bean necklace a few days ago.  Why?  For no other reason than that he loves me.
I sold my locking collar and thusly was able to turn around and use that money for the skinnier version of it, which is even more awesome than the one I had before.
 
 

Waiting

So… It has been put into motion.  I decided to transfer to Tony’s store, and it is definitely because I feel 100% welcome there.  Stepping down to be a barista will prove to be more useful to me in the long run, since I know that Frank and I will be moving out of here one day, and it is easier to transfer as a barista as opposed as a shift supervisor.  It sucks that I will be making less money, but what can I do; my mental health is more important.  Unfortunately, I am scheduled to work for the next two weeks at Five Star & Fairway.  Sigh.  I also have written Tony a letter discussing the dates that I need off for my little trip.  It appears that my sister might actually be coming out here.  Yesterday she sounded very serious and purposeful, and actually called me to talk about it.  Whatever.  Until she sets foot on California soil, I am not believing it.  It would be nice to not drive down to L.A. alone though. 
 

hm

Well I am going to be leaving in a bit to go talk to a couple of managers at the Starbucks near my house.  Nervous. 

Friday, and fuck you poseurs!

I like working Friday mornings and then having Saturday off.  Makes my time off seem so much more. 
Alot has been going on.  I have come to the realization that Starbucks management is not for me.  I do not like the pressure that is put upon me to perform, and the repercussions that follow if I do not.  It has made me miserable.  I have accumulated enough corrective actions in the course of a month or two, that if I were to receive another one, I could be fired.  I also do not like working at my current Starbucks, and have decided to step down from shift supervisor to barista and then transfer.  I know that I will take a paycut, but at this point in my life, my mental health is very important.  Sigh.  Now I am going to have to be even more careful with money.  That’s ok though.  Besides a possible Cartier purchase, I don’t forsee any other big expenses. 
I am going to get up tomorrow, and hit up 3 different Starbucks to see if they are in need of a barista.  I am going to go to the 2 that are here in my town, since it sure would be nice to not have to drive very far to go to work.  The 3rd one is Tony’s store, that I know for sure I have a position, but that I also know is a bit unstable by reputation.  Gah.  But, I already feel better. 
I finally sent my letter out to Glenn Danzig yesterday.  I bought some nice plain stationery, and I got 2 photos printed up to enclose in the letter.  Now I wait.  I have requested a week off from work next month, and I am planning to drive down to L.A. and meet up with him, if everything goes according to plan.  I am also going to check out a few other things, like real estate, possibly transferring to another Starbucks in the area, and all that jazz.  I am really tired of living up here.  I honestly do not feel that this is the best place for me and Frank.  We are too different, alternative, to be living out here.  At least in the L.A. area we would have better restaurants to go to, more places that we like to shop at, and lots of other stuff that we like to do. 
I would really like to start up a tattoo shop.  I think that would be super fucking awesome, and I know a good tattooist when I see one.  I am going to look into how much $$$ it would cost.  What the hell, it might just work.
 

Danzig – Am I Demon

Can’t Speak by Danzig.

Can’t speak
Can’t talk
Can’t do anything they want

Can’t hide
Or change your mind
Gonna live w/ all my soul
Inside

Can’t speak
Can’t talk
Can’t stop for the reeling cause
Or love
I told ’em all about it
Can’t talk
Cause I’m already lost

Can’t think
Can’t cry
Keep thinking of a suicide
It’s hard
I just can’t forget it
Gonna fade cause I’m already dead

Can’t think
Can’t dream
Don’t care if I live or die
Don’t talk
I just can’t believe it
Gonna fade cause I’m already dead

Can’t speak
Can’t lie
Don’t go anywhere to hide
Can’t think
Can’t cry
Keep thinking of a suicide

Can’t speak
Can’t talk
Can’t do anything I want
Can’t hide
Or change your mind
Gonna live w/ all my soul inside

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/danzig/#share

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