new years eve

Hi there. On my way to a New Year’s Eve party. First one I have been invited to since I moved out here. Excited.

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I Hate Leaving For Work Irritated

I have noticed that I frequently leave for work in a bad mood.   I always feel like I am rushed.  I hate waking up to an aalrm, so I wake up whenever I wake up, and then go about my day.  For example:  I wake up anywhere between 9 and 11 am, depending upon when I go to bed.  I go downstairs, check my phone, boot up my computer, and start up a pot of coffee.  I end up surfing the net, staring at shit.  I frequently forget to make myself some breakfast.  I frequently rush out of the house, not doing everything I want to do.  So then I end up pissed.

So I am going to make some changes.  I have come to the realization that I need about 30 minutes to get ready.  I have no idea how girls that need to style their hair or apply makeup have any time at all.  So I need to prepare.  I need to have my clothes already laid out, I need to make sure that I eat something for breakfast, and that I set up a travel mug for my coffee in case that I don’t finish all of my coffee.  I hope that helps.

Blog a day

I am going to try to blog everyday.  Hopefully it will happen.

I guess this is it.

Hungry.  I don’t like eating anything that could potentially get stuck in my braces, so I end up being hungry alot.  Oh well. Only… 27 pounds to go! 🙂

Today I upset someone very much.  I felt pretty bad about it afterwards.  It got me to thinking about things.  I need to stop wasting my time on the obvious.  If you throw yourself at something, and it doesn’t grab on, then its time to move on. 

Maybe this is all I will ever be.  It’s not what I wanted; I always saw myself in a different place.   Maybe I just have to accept the fact that this is my reality. 

I just don’t feel certain about it.  I was almost willing to take a huge risk… I wonder what would have happened if I had taken that risk.


Today was a good day.  I watched a hummingbird bask in the sun, and for five minutes it was all I thought about.  It was awesome.  I went to work in a much better mood than I have been in a long time.

 I realized after a chat with someone at work that I need to communicate better.  I am going through alot.  It isn’t going to end soon.  But, I can at least give my coworkers the respect of letting them know if I am having a shitty day, so that they can feel less awkward around me. 

January 1st is coming up.  Hopefully this not spending thing will work.

just about enough

I hate being in purgatory. I hate waiting to see what will happen. I hate that there is no guarantee in anything except maybe that sofa you bought last year. I hate that everyone asks me what’s wrong. I hate feeling like I am on the verge of tears. I hate awkward situations. I hate having feelings about things that I can’t do anything about. I hate feeling like I am being pulled in so many different directions. I hate the inevitable.

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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone.  I got alot of prezzies, and that was real nice.  i feel like I got too many. 

Went out and saw White Christmas last night at the old Crest Theatre.  That was super nice.  Grabbed some coffee at Temple afterwards.  I was drinking this crazy concoction called Voodoo.  It was delish.

Woke up this morning and was surprised at all the prezzies that had appeared under the tree.  More than I expected to see. 

I made quite the pile of trash after unwrapping everything.  I got alot of cool stuff.  I won’t list them all here, but I will mention that my favorite gift out of everything was the NOOK.  I am super freaking excited to get that. 

I hope that everyone had a nice holiday.  I know I sure did. 🙂

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