Reality

I got my Coach PCE in the mail the other day.  After much thought, the reality is this: I would only buy something from Coach for the sake of using the PCE.  There is nothing that Coach has available right now that I really truly want.

I AM ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE ON A SHOPPING BAN.

So now I feel better.

It is a good reality check for me when I remember that I am not supposed to be using my credit card for anything other than important things, like getting my car repaired, medical bills, stuff like that.  I realy am happy with what I have.  I just need to use the stuff I have more, like rotating my bags once I get bored of carrying one, or switching out my jewelry once I get bored of wearing it.  I have lots of stuff to wear, and it is pretty damn nice too.

I DO need flips.  Other than that, I will be sewing up a bag or maybe a skirt, I don’t know.  But I really do not need anything else excpet a decent pair of flips for the summer.

Tattoos: A 21st Century Perspective. (via )

Read this. It’s very good.

Tattoos: A 21st Century Perspective. via I have a fascination with tattoos. I've gotten really into reading the Tattoo Tuesday feature on Sometimes Sweet, and it's so interesting to see so many different tattoos on so many different people, and to read about their significance and the process of being tattooed. I've been thinking a lot lately about the stigma surrounding tattoos and how silly it is. Quick anecdote: toward the end of high school, I told my mom that I wanted to get a … Read More

via

Two Days Off, Came And Went…

Having two days off in a row is awesome.  I feel like I actually get to rest.  Yesterday was Easter; my neighbor invited me over to spend it with her family and some other neighbors.  At first, I thought, ‘only 2 hours, and then I will make up a reason to leave’ but I actually ended up staying there for 6 1/2 hours.  I amazed myself.  My reasonings were, 1) I have no family out here, and noone else invited me to spend Easter with them, so why not?, 2) my boyfriend is at work anyway, so what else am I going to do? 3) free food and dessert! yay! 4) I wanted to get to know my other neighbors better 5) it was interesting to hang out with people my own age, and I wanted to know what that felt like.

As for reason number 5, well, yes that was interesting.  I don’t consider myself immature; I happen to think that I have lived a pretty full life so far, and will continue to do so.  I have considered not wearing kneesocks anymore.  As much as I love them, I am closer to 40 than 30 now, and I think it is time to retire the kneesock look (now what the hell am I going to wear with a skirt to keep my legs warm?).  Which, upon realization of this, saddens me greatly (the kneesocks, not the age).  I also am no longer going to wear my braids or my pigtails high up anymore.  I rarely do it now, since the sheer weight of my hair pulls on my scalp, which gets damn annoying after a few hours.  But yes, that has to go.  Too old for Hello Kitty.  Damn on that too, but its the truth.  I am sure there are some other things, but thank goodness I can still wear my bird skulls.  Yeah.

I woke up last night to a hurting tummy.  I ate way too much good stuff.  I was sweating terribly, ugh!

Today I got up and we went grocery shopping, and I got a grilled cheese at Boudin.  One of the best damn grilled cheeses, EVER.

Hung out with my friend today, and we got lost in time searching for the perfect summer shoe, which I was not successful in today.   I would like it to be a vegan shoe, that is cute yet my sort of shoe, and easy to get on and off.  We found a couple; Payless seemed to have a decent selection, but I am going to sleep on it and figure it out later.  We ended up at Barnes and Noble, drinking coffee and flipping through tattoo magazines, which to me is quite relaxing and and of my top favorite things to do.  It was nice comparing which tattoos we liked and disliked.  We discovered that our tattoo artist, Ronnie, was in a feature in Inked magazine!  We were so happy to see him!  I wish him the best of success, he deserves every bit of it.  His website is www.ronniegrizard.com so go check him out!

I haven’t solved the issue with my back.  I have this muscular pain, maybe it is a spasm, which started a few days ago.  It is on the left side, right below my shoulder blade.  Fucking HURTS.  In all honesty, I need a massage therapist to work it out, so I hope to see one as soon as possible.  Shooting for Wednesday.

correction

I stand corrected. I honestly don’t remember when and what my mom paid for all those years ago.
All I know is that I don’t understand why my sister receives monetary aid when she has so much money of her own.
I will get over it. But for right now I am pissed off.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Just Trying To Make An Honest Living.

I really hate it when I notice shit and then it irritates me and then I get mad about it.  I am mad that I have a Master’s in Psychological Counseling, and the only fucking jobs out there deal with children and family, of which I have no training.  Do I go back to school and spend MORE money so that MAYBE I will get a better job?  The problem with my degree is, yes, I HAVE to go back to school.  I haven’t worked in the field in years.  Noone would hire me anyway.  I am stuck with Starbucks until my ortho shit is taken care of, since I cannot trnasfer that from one dental plan to another.

I try so hard to not let issues about my family bother me, but I hate the unfairness of it all.  When I hear about new shit, it flares back up and I wonder why I got so screwed.  I just feel like I am not making any headway in my life.  I don’t want to be a money grubbing bitch… That isn’t my way.  My brother, sister, and I all received a sum of money when we turned 30.  It was kept in a trust fund.  Since my sister is the youngest, she received it last, thusly also receiving the largest amount.  I am amazed how she milks the system.  She is currently getting unemployment because she was fired (free money, she only had to pay some taxes, and of course she could afford that), she sold my house (my mom practically begged that I sell it to her, who said they were going to keep it.  I could have sold it and made a profit.  So I lost more money there), she has been living with my mom rent free for over 6 months now, and  to top it off, I found out a few days ago that my mom has been paying for my sister’s health insurance  for YEARS(she is… 32, and has a trust fund).

I get nothing.  I spoke to my mom the other day, and I was in disbelief that my mom was STILL paying for her health insurance.  Are you fucking kidding me?  What about me?  What about all the times I had hardships in my life?  I never received help like that.  When I asked my mom about why she never helped me out like she helps out Penelope, she said because I never asked for that sort of help.  Wasn’t the fact that I was telling you that I was working 6 days a week to pay for my rent, that I would be working 7, but the buses didn’t run on Sundays so I wasn’t able to work Sundays, and that I was only eating ramen and mac and cheese a clear enough message?  I knew that she disapproved of some of my life choices, so I honestly felt bad about asking for money.

I struggled so hard, and I knew that she disapproved of the fact that I would be living with a boyfriend and that I also was not living near her.  Then she goes on to tell me about how she helped me when I first moved back to NJ, and how she paid for  a year’s worth of rent for me.  No she didn’t… She pre-paid for the year.  We still had to give her $1500 a month for the rent!  She only did that so that we could pay her instead of the landlord, so that in case we were ever late with the rent there wouldn’t be a penalty.  I can’t fucking believe that she doesn’t remember that.  She really thought she had given me that money.  I just called her back to straighten that shit out.  Then she said she remembered that.  YES, THAT’S RIGHT.  Don’t act like you gave me any handouts.  Because you didn’t.  Oh wait, let me correct that; there was one semester in college, when I was on my own, and I just needed a break from working and going to college.  At the time, I was averaging 17 credits a semester, and working Saturdays and Sundays at a pet shop that I had to ride the bus to.  So for one semester, I took a work break, and she gave me $300 a month.  Oh, and two times I had to go to a dentist for emergency treatment.  That was IT.

The reason why it still bothers me is that I have come to the realization that I feel like I am still not getting ahead in life.  I am so depressed about working a job where I get paid to have people treat me like a servant.  No one at work ever offers to hang out, and if I try to suggest something, everyone says that they are so damn BUSY,  so I feel like I am not even a person worth anyone’s time to become friends with.  Money is tight.  Whenever I buy something nice, or go on a mini vacation somewhere, it is at a cost.  So, what am I supposed to do?  Just sit in the house all day?  Because in all honesty, that is all I can afford to do.  I can go out for coffee, and that’s about it.  Gas prices are so high.  Driving is going to have to be limited because of that.  Thank god I got some money back on my taxes, and that I sold that bracelet on Ebay.  That will pay off 100% of my credit card debt, and at least 50% towards one other debt I have.

I am thankful that I even have a job in this economy.  I am thankful that I have someone in my life that loves me.  I am thankful that I am in relatively good health.  I am thankful that I do have what I have left in my investments to smooth out the sharp edges in my expenses.   I try to remember these things.

I Fell Into The Trap Of Eating Pastries At Work Again.

I have already bought myself a bracelet with my tax refund.  DONE.  I could see how I was trying to wrangle myself into getting a new purse, but luckily I stopped.  I am in the middle of decising which two tee shirts I am going to use to make my new purse.  I will like this one more anyway.  🙂

Today draaaaaagged at work.  After two hours, I was shocked that it had only been two hours.  Yikes!  Then once the first half of my shift shuffled by, the second half went by more quickly.  I even got off 25 minutes early, which though I need the money, I can’t wait to get off of work.  Sad, I know.

I was hungry at lunch and didn’t bring my pbh sammiches, so I ate a butter croissant AND a cheese danish.  Let me look up the calories of those… 730 calories for the two pastries COMBINED.  So… I had a veggie breakfast sandwich that was 350 calories, those two pastries, and there was a mini lemon square (120) and a mini whoopie pie in there (190).  So that comes to a total of nearly 1400 calories.  Shit.  Well, I am going to go dump out the rest of my nonfat vailla latte I was sipping on here… luckily I only had half of it which comes out to… 125 calories.  Yep, already over my 1500 mark.  Sigh.  I am not going to be able to eat ANYTHING for the rest of the day!  Heh.  I will make it a challenge.  I bought home a green tea lemonade sweetened with Splenda, so when I get hungry, I will drink that.

I don’t feel too bad.  Kinda disappointed that I won’t be having dinner, but like I tell myself all the time, I need to watch the calories.  Obviously pretty much anything I eat at work is going to cost me.  I just need to be more vigilant about making my own sammiches.  I just brought home a bagful of ripe bananas that they were going to throw out at work, so yay for pb and b and h sammiches!

Two more days of work and then two days off.  Sigh…

Finances as of 4/20/11

Sooooo I think that it is ok that I bought my Links of London bracelet, since I used tax refund money.  I am getting alot of my financial situation straightened out, which makes me happy.  In a couple of days, my credit card bill will FINALLY be at zero.  I will be getting my ortho bill of $132 and change charged to it monthly, but otherwise, unless I have an Audi emergency or something, there shouldn’t be any other charges.  What a relief.

I was going to also treat myself to a bag, but… Coach is coming out with some really beautiful bags for the fall.  I am just going to wait for that.  I just wish I knew how much the bags were going to cost on average, so I would know how much to put aside.  Well, I will put aside a set amount, and then just sit tight for fall.

That’s about it, I guess.  Just glad that my debts will be 75% paid off.

Previous Older Entries