hope

tonight i start running.  it has finally cooled down enough that  i can do this. i know it is a potentially lame thing to mention here, but summers here are hot and stay hot for a long time. i hope that by starting my running now, by the time the heat visits us again i will not care. 

i am the most overweight that i have ever been in my life. i recently posted a few pics from the lululemon grand opening weekend on my facebook, and in one of them i am in warrior 1.  and i look fat.  wow. i am so amazed at how i let myself go. well, i never had a hold on me in the first place, i never exercised, or ate right… i relied on my youth and cigarettes, of which i have neither now. i have been doing yoga, damn hard yoga for near two years now, but only in the past few months have i been practicing more and more. i also just started on a 1600 calorie a day diet last week, which i am doing okay on, but i am still trying out new foods week to week to find the right nutrional combo. i am trying to eat 400 calories per main meal, which leaves me 400 calories throughout the day for snacks and a tiny latte. 1600 goes fast.  scarily fast, which i realized was most likely the reason why i am so fat now… so 1600 it is, except for 3 meals a week that i can be a little free with.

and now i need to run.  i tried running less than a year ago, but it didn’t stick, so now i am trying again. i need to run though. the yoga isn’t enough, as i learned the hard way. i am so glad i did that 30 day yoga challenge.  it really opened my eyes. i am sad though, because i really wanted yoga to solve it all for me.  but i need to run and do other horrible garbage like crossfit and though i hate it, i hope that i can keep it up.

its all about health, when you think about it… everything you do needs to be tied into that. sleep enough, drink enough water, work out everyday.  it is so much, yet it is vital. 

i hope that this running thing sticks.

i hope that this 1600 or less thing sticks.

i hope that i get back to a size 7. 

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