who’s my savior?

I am disenchanted with yoga right now. i didn’t expect it to be my savior… i just wanted to feel better. i schlepped to the studio, blowing gas and time, in hopes of burning some fat off of my body. i haven’t lost a single pound, and i haven’t dropped a pant size either. and i have been quite dedicated for the past year. i also have been watching my calories for the past two months, and other than make me a bit crazy, my weight still hasn’t budged.

let’s hope running saves me.

i got out of the shower tonight, and took a look at myself as i dried off. not to be explicit, but my stomach, in particular my lower stomach, juts out past my breasts, and i am a 34c, so that’s jutting out pretty far. i didn’t realize how much i unconsciously sucked my tummy in so i wouldn’t have to look at how fat i am. i glanced at my rear and that is also pretty darn huge.

i am really disheartened.

right now i am focusing on my sleep and my diet. i am squeezing in running when i can. i am just so damn tired… if i don’t get enough sleep, i am so dead tired. i will do one vinyasa class and one yin class a week, and the rest will be running or treadmill, whatever i can muster up the energy to do. i will keep up the 1300-1600 calories a day with a free meal or two a week. i will give this a solid, dedicated two months, starting november 1st. if there is no change by the new year, then i will make an appointment with a doctor and see if my thyroid is screwy.

i need to save myself from myself.

Today is my day off. I have felt terrible all day. Exhausted and a mild nagging headache that ibuprofen can’t seem to get rid of.

I actually thought i was going to go for a run today. Then i thought, well, at least a walk. Then i realized that i would be lucky to just make it through the day.

I was able to drag myself out of the house to treat me and my boyfriend to a delish breakfast, drop off my application to get my license at the post office, and wander around cvs to pick up a few things. As soon as i got home i crashed on the futon upstairs and i think i fell asleep for two hours. i hung out watching the Aliens marathon for another hour or so after that. 

Fridays are hell days for me. i usually end up working a full shift at Starbucks, and then i leave straight from work to go to my other job at Zuda. Normally that’s tough enough. But then we walked to a party in town and spent an hour or so there, had a couple of glasses of wine, too many sugary snacks and then headed home. I woke up 3 hours to an achy tummy which pepto bismol worked but nonetheless i had 7 hours of restless sleep. 

Which leaves me with what i just told you.

I give my best to my job. My days off consist of recovering from work and quite frankly, i dont feel thats fair. I have no energy to have fun, to exercise… 

Rant over. 


that’s it.

i have such grand ideas for a blog post.

but everytime i get halfway through, i reread it, categorize it as utter garbage and delete it.

i would like to write something that doesn’t portray me as something that i may or may not be.

so far today, i have done my running, looked up and applied for a few jobs, realized tumblr sucks (i think i shall delete it), and continue to try ot figure out what to do for my 40th which is going to be here in less than 2 years.

Creating the Perfect Halloween Soundtrack

Definitely the most wonderful time of year for sure!

Funk's House of Geekery

We now reach the seasons when the nights begin earlier and carved up gourds lit by candle light adorn people’s front  it doors, I personally like to believe it is the most wonderful time of the year. And like every other great moment, the Halloween season deserves a great soundtrack. Unfortunately, unlike Christmas where earlier and earlier every year every radio station you find is not going to be playing music to get you into the season’s spirit. In order to aid those who are looking to throw a killer costume party, build a haunted house, or just enjoy relaxing and taking in the joy of Halloween I have a few tips that will help you build the best playlist just in time for Halloween.


Movie and TV Themes: The piece of music that is synonymous with the holiday is without a doubt John Carpenter’s  score for his…

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Fitbit Flex wins

Fitbit Flex wins

After trying the Nike Fuelband, the Jawbone UP, and the Fitbit One/Flex, i came to the conclusion that the Fitbit Flex is the best fit for me.
The Fuelband was the most expensive, yet provided the least. I admit, after watching a video a Fuelband fan made, that video made me want one. It measured my steps, provided the time of day, approximated my calorie burn, and had something called Nike Fuel but no idea how it calculated that. i didn’t need an iphone or an android; it has a built in usb that i could plug into my computer.
The UP measured my steps, averaged my calories, monitered my sleep, allowed me.to enter my yoga, also kept track of my food intake. None of this was visible on the band itself; in order to see my info i had to plug it into the headphonejack of an iphone or android of which i had neither. I had to borrow my boyfriend’s phone everytime i wanted to check how i was doing.
Finally i tried the Fitbit One. It measured my steps, how many flights of stairs i climbed, averaged my calories, monitered my sleep, and it was easy to put in my food and any other exercise thatthe One may not properly measure. Also, it came with a bluetooth usb that i kept plugged into the back of my laptop so it could sync wirelessly whenever i was within 20 feet of it. I didnt need an iphone or android. I also linked it up with a popular app titled my fitness pal, which helps to process the data from the fitbit one.
But in the end, i chose the fitbit flex. The only difference between the flex and the one is that the flex doesn’t measure stairs climbed. But, i have little chance of losing the flex. I felt like i would lose the one if i wasn’t careful.
Fitbit flex wins!


honestly surprised

It’s funny; things feel so different, i am honestly surprised at how antisocial i sorta am right now.  work is hard, but i do my best to distract myself. i sorta avoid my beloved yoga studio right now; i have only attended one yin class since i have come back. i am craving the nurturing stuff right now, i guess.  i am trying to get back into exercising, i just don’t really care. that and being so damn exhausted doesn’t help. no joke; according to my fitbit, i really do need to be in bed for 10 hours; that way, i can get 8 hours of sleep, though interspersed with lots of tossing and turning.  yay. i am trying to do the running thing, i can do that on my own time, sometimes frank comes with me.  i really want to go tonight, but i will at least walk. maybe. i have been up a long time today. fridays are my hell days.

anyhoo. just an observation.


Mermaid Book Release

So  i roll home from the rocky horror picture show at 2:30am, and had to be up in 5 hours to go to SF to help a friend with his first ever book release party.  i was exhausted.  today i thankfully also had off. i am recuperating from my crazy two days. Image

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