i’ll take that, thanks

Slogging away at work, as the time approaches I clock off and plop into my car, tired and sorta blanking out.

before i clocked on today, i noticed a few posts on a certain social website and for some reason it ticked me off.  then i felt stupid for getting ticked off and realized that i need to reorganize the order of my priorities.

i always seem to get into the bad habit of negative thinking. i am tired of it quite frankly. i guess it happens because i want/expect things to go one way, and when they don’t, it upsets me and my day is ruined. though my life isn’t exactly what i had wanted/expected, its not bad. not bad at all.

i have a job, though i can’t exactly live the high life on the pay, it does get the bills paid and the work environment, though grueling in terms of the physical aspect, is very socially fun with my coworkers. i also work a second job that i get paid in free unlimited yoga as well as a discount on lululemon. i am also going to be picking up a third job, for the holidays only, that will provide a different environment for me to learn and grow, and also give me a discount on jewelry that i like to wear. so i guess my jobs aren’t that bad.

i have nice things. i can’t afford them. i stopped myself from buying anymore things that i can’t afford a few months ago (took me years to realize that I could not continue to spend money i don’t have) and i enjoy what i have and now graciously accept  preloved items my family (who would say no to louis vuitton handbags and cartier jewelry?) when they offer them to me.

sure, i need to lose weight, but i am doing what i can about that. sure, i need a better job. that is also in the works. sure, i am too far away from my family, but frank and i are making plans to move back when we can.

one day at a time in recapturing positivity.


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