Being a counselor, well, i am not working as one right now, but i did for a period of time and i was decent at it; but being a counselor, I know how hard it is for people to learn how to deal with a loved one with depression.  There are alot of feelings; I know that frequently it is frustrating and saddening at the same time.  

I don’t know if I am depressed right now.  Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I feel happy.  But I also cry a lot.  I have a deep sense of “it’s all over” and simple things like taking a shower or putting away my laundry seems like a daunting task.  All I want to do is sleep because I feel like I never get enough, sit at my computer online, drink coffee.  I don’t know if it is chemical or situational.  I am reluctant to share these feelings with my family because I am afraid that I will be met with something negative that will make me cry more. I get the urge to post “I am sad” on Facebook so that someone, anyone, will help me, but I don’t because I don’t want to broadcast.  I am anxious around my boyfriend because I get upset at most everything he does, and though I feel at the time that the upset feeling is warranted, afterwards I am not so sure. And then I start to think that he will leave me, and then my last friend in the world will be gone.

My father died in October, Maggie died in November, and my grandmother died in January.  I am still quite sad by all 3 of these unfortunate events, and I wonder if I will ever get back to the old me.  I don’t have the drive to go to yoga, I don’t have the desire to do anything really. 

I hope that this will pass. I will try to take each thing as it happens the best that I can. I will figure out how to find someone to talk to, a professional. Maybe.

 

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Aside

Trollbeads Inspiration : Bloom & Bite (Or a Snake in the Grass…)

Trollbeads Inspiration : Bloom & Bite (Or a Snake in the Grass…).

Daily Fitbit stats

My fitbit #Fitstats for 2/26/2014: 4,824 steps and 1 miles traveled. http://www.fitbit.com/user/27LDQF

My Rebeligion Bracelet

My Rebeligion Bracelet

This was my birthday present to myself, including my X links. Been a niiiiice birthday 🙂 Rebeligion is a small German company that makes sterling silver beads that slide onto leather. This is the first leather item I have bought for myself in over a year. I normally do not buy new leather products, only used/preloved in order to reduce/reuse/recycle, but I couldn’t find this used anywhere, since this is such a new jewelry line.
I can probably get away with wearing this at Starbucks, but I would never wear this in a professional environment; it is chunky and in-your-face, and unless you work in an environment that is cool with horned skulls, I would suggest a different silver piece. They do have more understated pieces, so it can be work friendly.
Here is the link to their website if you wish to find out more: http://www.rebeligion.de/

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Cherry Blossoms 2014

Cherry Blossoms 2014

These beautiful flowers fade so quickly, yet I think of them always. These cherry Blossoms are the reason why I got into Pandora in the first place… Pandora had done a cherry blossom theme for their jewelry last spring, and I love it. Which is strange, because I am not one to love pink flowers.

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My New X, Pt. 1

My New X, Pt. 1

For those of you that may not be familiar with Trollbeads or X for that matter, here are 2 links for you to check out: http://www.trollbeads.com and http://www.xbytrollbeads.com
Trollbeads is a Danish modular jewelry line that is comprised of sterling silver, 18k gold, gemstone, and glass designs. You string beads onto one of their sterling silver or gold bracelets, and then fit the end with a Trollbeads lock. Completely customizable. Frequently mistaken for Pandora here in the U.S. (though Trollbeads is the first to have done this style, Pandora came along years later).
X by Trollbeads is an entirely new concept of modular bracelets made up of 18k gold, sterling silver, bronze, and rubber. X is different in that one designs the bracelet link by link. Not mistaken for anything else.
I recently bought some X links on sale, and here are two of them, Rock And Roll and Snake.
I was surprised at how big and heavy the Snake link is and how light the Rock And Roll is, I had expected the former to be lighter and the latter to be heavier. Hope I phrased that right.

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Daily Fitbit stats

My fitbit #Fitstats for 2/21/2014: 18,730 steps and 3.9 miles traveled. http://www.fitbit.com/user/27LDQF

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