Decisions, Positive or Negative?

Do you ever just sit in front of your screen and try to communicate without sounding whiny?  Yesterday was such a day.  I have complete control (or so Facebook says) of how my life is presented online.  And through trial and error, I believe I have carefully cultivated a nice Facebook/Twitter page that reflects what I want it to reflect. 

But sometimes I want to smash that, to rant about what’s bothering me, to seek validation, no matter how superficial.  Luckily I didn’t write anything.  But that’s the new me. The old me would have gone on and on about whatever it was bothering me; it probably would have been on the public setting.  Geez.  Now I just need to work on my off screen life.  That definitely needs alot of work.

My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks.  As I have gotten older, I notice that I start comparing myself to others, seeing where they ar ein life and how I am trundling along.  I know that the enlightened ones out there tell you not to, but I really do lose my sense of place at times and I need to refocus on where I am at.  Sometimes checking where others are helps me.  My biggest issue is that I am nearing the age of 39 and I am working at Starbucks.  I am not manangement, just a barista.  So, no real future there.  I tried the corporate climb and it didn’t suit me at all.  Yet I despise being at the bottom rung.  What to do, what to do.

I have some ideas.  Hoepfully I will be working on them soon.  They say its never too late to start, but I am not entirely certain of that…


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