Contemplating Looking Stupid

I quit smoking ten years ago.  It was my second time quitting, and it was really tough. The past few months I have been struggling.  My boyfriend smokes, and though he smokes in the garage or outside, I still feel the pressure.  Luckily, I can say he hasn’t pressured me once.

But I have smoked.  I can count on one hand how many times I have slipped, and it is way too much.  Each day I can feel the urge, and I am at a crossroads right now.

I really don’t know what to do.  I cannot deny the urge to smoke that is slowly growing ever stronger within me.  I despise it.  I am at my weakest point right now, due to many changes; not that the changes were bad per se, but stressful either way.

I am contemplating looking stupid.  I am thinking about purchasing a Blu e-cigarette pack and I am wondering if it would stave off the urge to pick up a real cigarette.  I know that they aren’t completely free of chemicals; but this urge is getting worse and worse and quite honestly I have enough going on that I simply cannot stand another stressor in my life.


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