one step at a time

Today is a gorgeous day.  There is nothing quite like the first beautiful day after months of snow and cabin fever.  It is like breaking out of prison and experiencing freedom for the first time in what seems like ages.

But for some people, today is even more wonderful than that.  Those are the people that own a motorcycle.  Today means that they can start up their engines, and spend some serious time in the wind.  I was on my way out from an interview, and I saw two guys on their bikes, throttling by and I felt a keen sense of envy.  I felt it in my chest, and I knew at that point that I had to ride.

When I came home, I watched as my love started up his bike, strap his helmet on, and start rolling his way out onto the road.  His flaxen hair caught the sun as he rode down the driveway, and I wanted so badly to go.  He looked so beautiful as he tore away on his Harley, face to the wind and freedom on two wheels.  I would like to be on the back of his bike, but in all honesty I want my own.

But I have to do it right.  I have to get the right gear.  So far, I have an armored hoodie on the way, and three pairs of pants tough enough for riding.  I just need a pair of boots and possibly a helmet.  And then I need to take lessons.  Sigh.  I am so impatient.  I just want to get my gear and at least ride with my man; being on the back of a Harley is better than no Harley at all.

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Don’t Grab My Ass II

I forgot to mention that not everyone in the biker community is a sexist pig.  I would not want readers to be led to believe that is how I see the entire biker world.

I only wanted to mention that there is a high propensity for sexism, and that it will be a glaringly obvious challenge for me in my journey to become the biker that I have always wanted to be.

Don’t Grab My Ass

I just looked up motorcycle clubs that are women only and the one in NJ is comprised of all one ethnicity (of which I am not), and the other women’s motorcycle club in NYC seems to be of all one sexuality (of which I am not either).

I just don’t understand why biker culture has to be so sexist.  It really confounds me. Whenever I look up women related to the biker culture, they are whored out and look like nothing more than arm candy.  Is this what I really want to get involved in?  I want to learn to ride; I want my own bike, I want to belong to something that makes me feel good about myself.  I don’t want to feel awkward and self conscious.  I understand that this severely unbalanced position that women are in will always be there; but will I be able to ignore it and create my own path?  I have always been my own person; I chafe under society’s laws and wish for the day when I can be truly free of its shackles and live life the way I see fit.  I am upset by the sexism found in biker culture because ultimately, I want to be taken seriously and respected.

I want to be on the road and when I see another biker, we give each other the nod.  That’s all.  No fanfare, just two bikers passing each other by.

I know what people might say; get over it.  I hate that dismissive statement.  I am not the kind of woman to create drama about the huge inequality present in biker culture.  I would only speak up if sexist bullshit involved me or a woman friend.  And then yes, I am going to stick to my guns.  I won’t get over it.  I want respect, and I don’t want to have to jump through a higher hoop just because I am a woman.

My dad raised me with an independent streak.  It has gotten me in a lot of fights but I don’t care; I stood up for what I felt was right and I will never regret my decisions.  I will always thank my dad for what he brought out in me; who knows how I might have turned out if he and I hadn’t had our “talks”.

I need to learn to choose my battles when it comes to dealing with sexist behavior.  I can’t fight them all; all that is going to result in is me being constantly irritated with even the slightest whiff of sexism and I don’t want to live like that.  I need to be confident that I am good enough to deserve respect, that if a fellow biker won’t give me that then they can stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.  I will ignore the pathetic people that will try to bring me down.  I will need to be able to recognize who is good for me and who is not.

Too Fat To Ride

I remember the first time I was on a motorcycle.  My brother had a red Kawasaki, no idea what kind it was.  It was a lot of fun and even though that Kawasaki is long gone, the memories of riding with my brother will ‘t budgestick with me always.  Many years went by, and the next time I found myself on the back of a bike was in London; my newfound friend, a courier, took me though the streets of London, zipping in and out of traffic with an expertise only found with one’s job requiring riding all day everyday.  The next and last time I was on the back of a bike was with an ex; at the time I was living in Long Island and there were a lot of quiet roads in the spring before Memorial Day Weekend would bring in the rich bastards in droves.

It has been over 15 years since i have been on the back of a bike.  The idea of owning and riding my own bike was always there; but lack of funds, lack of time, and lack of biker friends explained the huge lapse of time since my last ride.

My work is cut out for me.  I need to get protective gear that won’t make me look like the youngest brother from A Christmas Story, waddling around in the snow.  I need to spend more time as a passenger, but I have gained at least 30 pounds since the last time I rode, so there is a good chance that I will exceed the weight limit and may not be able to even ride as a passenger.  I have tentatively started a search for a bike.  I will also take a motorcycle certification course.

The weight issue is embarrassing and no time like the present to get back into Whole 30.  Weight loss has been a serious struggle for me, and its not for lack of trying.  It just doesn’t budge.  If I can’t even get on the back of my boyfriend’s bike, I am going to be very ashamed.  Let’s hope that I can make it happen.  The daily drinking will have to stop.  The better eating will have to start.  Now that the weather is getting warmer, I can at least get out for a walk and I need to build my strength back up. All I can do is eat right and do something active everyday.  Whatever happens to my body is whatever is going to happen.  I am not going to miss out on life just because of my weight.

If all else fails, I will just get my own damn bike.

Last blog of 2014

I don’t really give a fuck this year.  I didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving with anyone, nor Christmas, and with New Years Eve upon us I am not celebrating with anyone this day either.  I don’t care.  A lot of crazy shit has happened this year, and I am realizing that I no longer want to spend time with people that don’t respect me.

In less than 5 days, I will be back in NJ.  Permanently.  I am abandoning my apartment that I moved into for the “big job” back in August.  I have my house on the market.  I broke up with Frank, much to his confusion.  I will be working my last day at Alex and Ani tomorrow.  Everything I care about in the material sense is shipped out already.  My car is set to be picked up and then carted across the U.S. on Friday.  I finalize my apartment on Saturday.  I fly out on midnight Sunday.

I have a place already rented out. I hope that I can find a job relatively soon, though to be honest I am going to take a little time off to relax and think about shit.  I turn 40 in February; I would like to celebrate that with a clear head and heart.

I am not going to give a tearful goodbye to California.  Nope.  I am just going to go, no theatrics, no grand exit.  Just heading home, long time overdue.

Best Advice I Have Found So Far For Waxing Aftercare

WAXING TIPS + TRICKS

Tips + Tricks

Bikini Line Care

Education is key, so after a Brazilian Bikini Wax it’s pretty important to start looking after your bikini line area. Here are some basics, and just so you know, I’m not a doctor; I’m just speaking from experience and trial and error:

1.     After a Wax: NO HEAVY CREAMS OR OILS

It makes sense that when you pull a hair out of its follicle, there’s going to be a miniscule hole where the hair used to belong. My personal belief is that when you apply product to that area, the follicle gets jammed up resulting in unwanted ingrown hair and blocked follicles. A blocked follicle looks like a black head. If you experience this, invest in a good dry skin loofah or loofah mitts. Begin by exfoliating EVER SO LIGHTLY in a gentle, circular motion. I would also recommend exfoliating the night before a wax; it gets rid of any dead skin cells etc. Don’t exfoliate immediately after a wax, wait at least 24 hours. 
I would like to add that we will apply after wax lotions to your skin immediately after your service, so you really won’t need to rush off to apply anything. 
You will see a list of recommended products at the end of this page.




2. INGROWN HAIRS

Yuck! We hate them, we pick them and stick things in them, and still they remain, and sometimes they have the nerve to multiply! Why? I don’t know, but I am going to attempt to explain how to prevent them and how to treat them if you get them. I’ve noticed that there are certain people who are more prone to ingrown hairs – like, for example, ME! I have thick and curly hair. When my hair grows back, it doesn’t grow back to the surface straight, it grows back in a hook/curl. So when it gets to the surface, it sometimes doesn’t break through. You can see these hairs through your skin, they are just beneath the surface and OH SO tempting to pick. I’ve had success with exfoliation (not with a product, but with mitts) and the facial wash that I have recommended above. Don’t use salt scrubs etc., as I find these to be too abrasive and perfumed. These things just irritate the situation and once again, plug up your follicles. So, if you have thick, curly or coarse hair; sorry, you are just more susceptible. 

You might also be more prone to ingrown hairs and sensitive skin if you do the following:

a)             Cross your legs for long periods of time.

b)             Work out excessively and don’t wash your skin immediately after using an antibacterial or gentle exfoliating wash.

c)             Insist on wearing fashionable tight jeans, knickers or clothing for prolonged periods of time that can irritate your skin.


Treat your bikini line skin like the skin on your face. It’s a delicate area and should not be ignored. 

If you are a naughty pimple picker then there is not much help I can send your way. Yes, I know it is satisfying and addictive. I sometimes indulge myself, however, the horrid results of you trying to dig out that pesky ingrown are plentiful. You can end up permanently scarring your skin. We call them “ice pick” scars in the trade.

And let’s not forget about bacteria that can be found inside your fingernails and other weapons of choice!  When you push down on an ingrown or red bump, you may see something come out of the top of it. Thinking you have solved it, you wake up the next day only to see another two have popped up. (This will happen on your face too). The problem is that the pushing, forces sebum (oil) and other debris to push out of the follicle through the bottom, rupturing it and causing an infection, which kindly spreads to other follicles. DON’T PICK!!!!

3.     CLEANING YOUR BIKINI AREA

Very simple. Light exfoliation with your dry skin loofah or loofah mitts on a daily or nightly basis with a squirt of a exfoliating cleanser and you should be on your way to a glowing, soft as a baby’s bum bikini line.

4.     WHAT IF?

Red or White Bumps Appear After A Wax or Shave?  Treat the area with a 1% Hydrocortisone cream followed by a topical antibiotic cream such as Bacitracin or Polysporin.  I am not a huge fan of Neosporin as some people are unaware that they are allergic to Neomycin.

If you are concerned, call your esthetician and get some advice. She will want to help you!

Pick your product for exfoliation and prevention.  Some people prefer to use a SALICYLIC ACID, BENZYL PEROXIDE, or a GLYCOLIC ACID for maintenance and troubleshooting. For instance, I use a glycolic body wash, and then treat my underarms and bikini area with a 2% salicylic acid.

We have some fabulous zit zapping and ingrown hair busting products at Queen Bee.  You can purchase our award winning, salicylic-based “BUZZ OFF BUMPS! in two strengths from our salon or purchase it online.  We also sell other great ingrown hair products so give our friendly Queen Bee front desk staff a call and they will be happy to assist in any way!

Having a Cocktail at the Habit in San Francisco.

Just got my ass handed to me by a woman named Amanda.  And I paid her to do it.  It was my first brazilian, and though it hurt more than any tattoo I have ever gotten, I will go back again and again.  I have been assured that it will hurt less and less.  It hurt.  ALOT.  But not enough for me to never go back.  I am tired of shaving myself and having it look like a badly plucked chicken.  It’s not that attractive in the first place.  But today, as I exited the place and slowly walked to the bus stop, I felt good about myself.  I finally did it and though it hurt like hell, it wasn’t the end of the world and I hope that in time it will hurt less.  If it doesn’t I may not return.  We will see.

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