And It Has Begun

The other day, I found a house in NJ that piqued my interest.  5 acres of property, at the price point I was looking for… Discussing it with a friend, we talked about how awesome of a place it would be and I got excited.  I got so excited that I emailed it to my sister and mum.  I got the responses I expected.  It’s too much property, how am I going to take care of that?  It’s too far away from us, when will you have time to see the baby? It is so far away from everything…  On and on.  They don’t want me to rent, they think I would be throwing my money away; they don’t want me living too far away; they want me where they want me.

They don’t know me very well, do they?

What are they going to do when I move back and I no longer put on the facade that I have done for so long?

What will they do?


Too Much

I think I have reached a minor breaking point.  Or maybe it is major, I am not quite fucking sure.  Today I felt the first pangs of uncertainty and it is frightening.

The house is on the market.  Two open houses and nothing.

I have broken up with Frank.  He is still residing in the house while I slip in and out like a stranger in my own home and hide out in my shabby apartment.

I have told my job that my last day will be January 3 and I am doing my damnedest to make it.  That’s 39 days.  I just need to put one foot in front of the other metaphorically speaking.

I do not know what lies ahead for me.  I have given up everything but it refuses to fucking let go. I am never going to be this committed to anything or anyone this much ever again.

Why I Love ‘John Carpenter’s The Thing’

Why I Love 'John Carpenter's The Thing'.

Phoenix Rising

My world is reborn in fire.  Everything that I have held onto is burning away.  Even though I started the fire, it has gotten completely out of my control and now it has a life of its own, destroying anything in its path.

I am like a phoenix; I will arise from the ashes and start again.


Sometimes, I feel like I am a mustang, running wild out on the plains, no particular direction; just running and running.

I reject a bridle.  I buck off a saddle.  I try to trample a foolhardy rider.

I just want sleep to come so that I can stop the mustang.  I need to stop running for just a little while.

The Ten Best Metal Songs To Play When At A Fast Food Drive-Thru Window

The Tyranny of Tradition

heavy metal drive-thru window

There are many hidden pleasures in being a metalhead.  That moment where you start talking to a stranger and realize he actually knows that Peter Steele was in Carnivore before he was in Type O Negative.  The moment where you are at the gym and you see a person on the workout machine next to you wearing a Carcass Heartwork tee-shirt.  That feeling you get when you are watching a bad, 1980s made-for-television movie about high school and notice one of the extras wearing a jacket with a giant Nuclear Assault patch on the back.  You’ll meet a ton of people throughout your life who think metal is nothing more than bad hairstyles, ripped up jeans and “Enter Sandman”, but that moment when you really feel the presence of another member of our bizarre little community is truly a compelling experience.

There is another type of joy that being a…

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Interesting Burial and Death Rituals

Gloomth & the Cult of Melancholy

We here at the ‘Cult have always been inspired by mourning rituals and attire of various cultures and eras. What’s fascinating about burial customs in particular is how they reflect the values and culture of the people they belong to, even as their lives evolve and change with time. Some traditions are dropped entirely and others are developed.

Korean Burial Beads– in South Korea available land for burial plots is dwindling so many families opt for cremation. Companies have sprouted up offering to turn the ashes into compressed beads. These beautiful beads are often displayed in the home in glass urns or elaborate dishes. Mourning and the way we honor those we have lost evolves to suit our culture and lives, this is a fascinating way to see that in action- how people develop new ways to maintain tradition and respect as their world changes.

south korea funeral beads Obviously not my photo. If…

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