relaxing, where’s my collar? and romantic propaganda

a little tired today.  had a nice swim last night at a friend’s house…  then zonked out on their couch watching  david letterman…  today i get my custom collar!  i am so excited.  i really only have an inkling as to what it is going to look like.  i will post a pic for sure.  i read something last week that i ripped out of a newspaper that i really need to blog in here.  it was about not falling for romantic propaganda.  it was quite intriguing…  basically saying that you shouldn’t fall for the stuff because all it does is cause you pain.  more on that later… 
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movies, tea, and reading!

hiya.  today is an interesting day.  got to do something new today…  i went to go see a movie matinee and then went straight to work!  it was rush hour 3, and though i don’t normally watch shoot ’em up movies, this was funny and light.  i think i had a wee bit too much sugar though.  i went to bed quite late late late last night, and got up early so that i could take a shower and do all that mundane stuff.  i had tea and toast this morning.  it was fab.  now i know why the british so love thier tea.  there is something so comfy about nursing it from a cup!  i have been making a sincere effort to read more.  i literally have a pile of books, some are mine, some are friends’, that i have been meaning to start.  i am reading one right now that is quite interesting, and i really can’t predict how it will end.  i love that.  i love to read.  i feel so much better when i just sit and read.  its a habit of mine that i sometimes felt that i left in NJ.  but alas, i have not!  yay.   i e-mailed ronnie, my tattoo artist, some pics of wings.  i lost his damn e-mail address, so i hope that i memorized it correctly!  we will see…  ever seen L.A. Story?  good movie.

choices

Choices.  They really do affect you more than you think.   the choices you make in yourl ife are so very important!  i need to remember that i need to think before i make a choice.  i don’t mean like do i choose cereal or a bagel for breakfast, i mean choices like, well, life choices.  i also need to treat people as i would like to be treated.  hard part is, not everyone is going to respond to that.  i have to know when to do that and when not to.  boils down to choices.
please… i am wiping my slate clean to make room for a better life, a better self…  i don’t want to do it totally alone. 

Destination Unknown by Missing Persons

Life is so strange
When you don’t know
How can you tell
Where you’re going to?
You can’t be sure of any situation
something could change
and then you won’t know

Where do we go from here?
It seems so all too near
Just as far beyond as i can see
I still don’t know what this all means to me

I don’t know where to go
I don’t know what to do
And i don’t even know the time of day
I guess it doesn’t matter anyway

life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don’t know
your destination
Something could change
It’s unknown
and then you won’t know
Destination Unknown

When will my time come?
Has it all been said and done?
I know i’ll leave when it’s my time to go
Til then i’ll carry on with what i know

life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don’t know
your destination
Something could change
It’s unknown
and then you won’t know
Destination Unknown

Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
 

I got the initial part!

Ok so I got this much figured out: i get too upset over too many things for too long.   Now what I am going to do is make up a list of the specific things that are affecting me and find out a way to deal with whatever it may be.  I feel good about this!  🙂

Do I ever change?

The other day I was told by someone that I never change my behaviour.  It was said in passing, but I made them stop and asked them what they meant by that.  And they were very matter-of-fact about it; ‘just that you never change, Melinda".  I perceived that comment as that my bad behaviours never change.  Because if they were good behaviours, then noone would say a thing.  I want to change, why doesn’t it happen?  Why do I slip back into old behaviours?  I have changed alot of behaviours in the past few years, but not enough in my mind.  I quit alot of unhealthy habits, became a vegetarian,  but I still am overly sensitive to what other people say to me.  Sometimes I think that I am rightly upset about something, and yet there is someone out there, telling me to stop being so negative and to not let it bother me.  I have to admit… Soooo many things bother me.  But believe it or not, I actually have been getting better.  I just hope that people can take the time to remove the sign they hung around my neck in their minds and change it to another more postive one.